Here's an idea: Stop.
If you're pretty sure you can't do something, don't try.
You are a filthy mess of a life and you will always be a filthy mess of a life.
You're supposed to feel sick.
You're supposed to feel like shit.
You're supposed to leave a grimy smudge everywhere you go.
Just like everything else you thought mattered: you don't.
You shouldn't be proud of yourself for coming this far.
You've barely moved an inch.
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